It’s true that writing things down will better serve your memory. There are some great wedding planners out there, and they are worth the investment. Bring your planner with you to every consultation; share your thoughts with potential vendors and take plenty of notes. Vendors should not be annoyed by this – we love to hear about your vision, and knowing what you are looking for helps us determine if we are a good fit for you!
I couldn’t put this list of tips in order from most important to least important if I tried, but this is a big one; trust me. If you are anything like me, you’ve had Pinterest boards for your wedding for years. You might have a vision in your head of exactly what you want, and now that you’re actually planning your wedding day, you’re realizing how quickly costs add up and that you’re going to need to make some serious compromises.
Maybe you will find the perfect dress, but you won’t be able to purchase matching robes for all of your bridesmaids. That is okay. You could end up hiring a florist who you know is about to bring your vision to life beautifully, but you can’t afford live entertainment. That is okay.
One of the best things you can do for your mental health is to accept that these things will inevitably happen. Accept that not every little detail is going to play out the way you imagined it would. The sooner you understand this, the less stress and anxiety you will carry, and you will be so glad for that by the time your wedding day comes around.
Decide early on which parts of your day you want to prioritize. Keep in mind which things will matter most to you when you look back on your wedding day. At the end of it all, your wedding is one day; what you have to look forward to is your marriage.
Save all of your contracts, receipts, etc in one place so you can easily find anything should you need to reference it down the road. Have one folder to hold your subfolders, named something like “Wedding Docs”; within that folder, create subfolders for each of your vendors – venue, photographer, officiant, florist, caterer, DJ, etc. Every time you sign a contract or pay an invoice, be sure to save documentation in the proper folder, and mark the task off on your checklist. This way you won’t have to dig through your email to find something if you need to confirm that it has been taken care of.
Decide how involved you want others to be in your planning. If you enjoy all the little details and look forward to making the decisions with only your partner, be up front about that with your family and friends! On the other hand, if you know you will want help with particular areas of wedding planning, designate certain aspects to those you think would do best at them! For example, if you feel that your maid of honor knows your taste better than anyone, send her your Pinterest boards and your budget and ask her to help coordinate decorations. Or if your future mother-in-law always chooses the best food at family gatherings, ask her to join you for tastings. It can be challenging to make sure that everyone feels included, but remember that this is your wedding. You do not owe anyone anything. Make every decision based on what is best for you and your partner.
Even if you are the most type-A person you know, your brain is going to be tired. Coordinating an entire wedding, even if you are going small-scale, can sometimes feel like having 42 tabs open in your brain; and trying to keep track of all the tasks can be overwhelming. Know that feeling this way is completely normal, AND know that taking time away from wedding planning is 100% okay and necessary to preserve your mental health. So give yourself a break. Go for a walk or a drive, take a bath, put your phone away for a whole day, take a weekend with your partner to get away from your day-to-day life and enjoy each other’s company… whatever you decide to do, make sure that it is something that relaxes you and brings you peace. If you are thinking you don’t have time for this, consider your priorities. Your mental health should be at the top of the list. Even if you can only make time for a small gesture of self-care, do it. And when you come back to wedding planning, continually remind yourself to only choose what makes you and your partner happy. That is literally all that matters.